Corporate Golfing

Even though Small Businessman Magazine tells us that Chili’s is the new golf course (thank you, Michael Scott), golf is still corporate America’s favorite pastime. From weekend outings with the boss or a client to the annual company tournament, the ability to lay up a nice approach shot (or at least act the part on the links) can help you stand out more than a spreadsheet ever would.

A lot of recent grads enter the workplace full of confidence. “I’m so smart and better at computers than any of these dinosaurs,” they think to themselves. But little do they know, old men are incredible at golfing, and as soon as the annual round robin tourney rolls around that youthful swagger will quickly wear off.

Business golf is a far cry from hitting up the driving range with a six pack, and it can be intimidating for people with limited experience. Learning how to actually play golf will take some time and may require taking lessons or enlisting the aid of a friend. But learning how to not look like a joker is pretty simple—we’ve compiled a quick primer to get you ready for the various sand traps and water hazards of corporate golfing.

[Note: If you really think the notion of you swinging a club at a tiny ball is a recipe for disaster, consider volunteering at the company tournament. At least you’re still out there, in the mix and part of the team.]

Golfing Etiquette

Golf is a gentleman’s sport, and as such, proper etiquette is as important as being able to wallop a drive 300 yards down the fairway. For the most part, bosses and colleagues will forgive a four putt, but an egregious faux pas could follow you back to the office. Here are a few fundamentals to brush up on before hitting the clubhouse.

Dressing the Part

Golf attire should be kept conservative on your first outing, but there’s no need to go overboard. A pair of khaki pants and a tucked-in polo shirt are always a good starting point. Think “sports casual,” but remember that you’re not Tiger Woods and it’s not your place to flaunt tradition. Hats should be worn forward and ideally feature the name of some New England town like “Newport, Rhode Island.” If you don’t have golf spikes, a reasonable pair of running shoes will suffice.

Pray Silence, Please

If I had to stress just one aspect of golfing etiquette, it would be this: When in doubt, keep your mouth shut. Golf is a very psychological game—you’ve got a lot of time to think about each shot, so focus and preparation are imperative. As in all situations like this, people will latch onto any excuse for why they hit a horrible shot. Whether you whisper a story to another player, open a soda, burp, or fart while someone else is hitting a shot, you will soon make yourself persona non grata if you keep it up. No noise, no sudden movements, no heckling.

On the Fairway

Keys to fairway etiquette are pretty simple. If you dig up a huge piece of earth with your shot (called a “divot”), go pick it up and put it back in the hole that you’ve created. Replacing your divots will help keep the course in good repair, though some courses have special rules about divots that may be worth looking out for. On a similar note, rake the sand trap after you hit your shot out of the bunker.

If you’re driving a golf cart, always drive on the cart path or the rough. If you must cross the fairway, do so at a 90-degree angle. Finally, if you’re playing slowly and it seems like the group behind you keeps waiting at the tee (or there’s a backup of groups lining up), step aside and let them “play through.”

On the Green

The green is like the grand sitting room of the golf course—it’s where deals are sealed and fortunes are won and lost. Here’s what you need to know:

• Never walk in front of someone’s line to the hole. Walk around their ball, or else they will pretend the indentation of your foot print sent their putt off course.
• Let the person furthest from the cup putt first
• When you need to mark your ball, place a coin or ball marker behind the ball. If the marker lies in the path of someone else’s putt, you can move it a club’s head to the left or right (at a 90-degree angle to your line to the hole). Move it further if they ask.
• Tend the pin if someone is taking a long putt or if they ask you to on a chip from the side of the green. If it looks like the ball is going into the hole, take out the flag. Never lay the flag in someone else’s line, or anywhere the ball might roll for that matter.
• If your partner is within a couple feet of the hole, give him the option of finishing up, or offer him a “gimme” if it’s really close.
• Shake hands after all putts have been sunk on the last hole.