Filling Up Your Bookshelves
After graduating college, I found my new Ikean bookshelves filled with nothing but books from various classes in Victorian Lit (all of which were marked with a big orange “Used” sticker) and several well-thumbed copies of US Weekly. Though my collection did manage to expose a couple suitors’ obsessions with Britney’s latest drinking binges or the use of simile in Charlotte Bronte’s Shirley, I wanted a library that did more than weed out weirdos and sycophants. I wanted a collection that would inspire sexy pseudo-intellectual banter while bringing a touch of class to my first post-college dwelling. I started by building one book at a time, and I eventually came up with what I think is the perfect library for looking (and maybe even being) sexily smart.
The best “Time To Revisit It Now That It’s Off the Reading List” book:
The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Gatsby loves Daisy, but Daisy’s married to Tom. Tom loves Daisy, but he’s having an affair with Myrtle. Tom confronts Gatsby and Daisy. Daisy and Gatsby leave in a tizzy, mowing down Myrtle on their way home. Melodrama ensues.
Reason to read:
This short novel reads like an incredibly erudite episode of Days of Our Lives. Fitzgerald paints an indelible picture of the glamour, gaudiness, and depravity of the roaring ‘20s that’ll make you feel a little bit better about your own drinking and carousing.
Four More
- The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain
- The Sun Also Rises, Earnest Hemingway
- The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck
- The Fountainhead, Ayn Rand
The best “Yes, I am an intellectual. What tipped you off?” book:
Foucault’s Pendulum, Umberto Eco
It’s sort of like High Fidelity except it’s set in boutique publishing house in Italy instead of an underground record shop in Chicago, and instead of vinyl, the triad in this story are experts in occult conspiracy theories. In fact, Belbo, Diotallevi, and Casaubon know so much about the purported history of the Knights Templar and the Freemasons that they decide to invent their own conspiracy. But their plan begins to take on a life of its own…
Reason to read:
It’s a satire wrapped inside a riddle, wrapped inside an enigma, wrapped inside a conundrum. Eco offers up a smorgasbord of esoterica guaranteed to impress both lit and math geeks alike!
Four More
- Ada or Ardor, Vladimir Nabokov
- Brave New World, Aldous Huxley
- White Noise, Don DeLillo
- The Magus, John Fowles
- A stocked bookshelf is powerful – Don’t underestimate the fringe benefits of a well-stocked bookshelf. It adds some flavor to the décor, creates a source of conversation when you have visitors, and may even provide entertainment if you get the strange urge to actually read.
- Impress with eclectic books – An easy way to appear well-read is to stock bookshelves with the lesser-known works of famous authors. Examples: East of Eden by John Steinbeck and Pale Fire by Nabokov. Special bonus points if you actually read them!
- Chicks dig poetry - Balance out brawn with a little verse and win major sensitivity points. Time-tested classics: Rainer Maria Rilke, William Carlos Williams, Walt Whitman, and Robert Frost.
- Become a word jockey - Reading is the best way to exercise that linguistic muscle. Soon you’ll be dropping “SAT words” like they’re hot and earning a swift kick in the ass from your friends. But at least you’ll be able to rock the Time’s crossword.
- Don’t become a literary douche – There are some limits to this whole endeavor, because at the end of the day no one likes a showoff. Never forget that the purpose of conversing about books is to exchange information. Pompously pontificating on Nabokov’s presaging David Foster Wallace’s post-post-modernist/pre-post-structuralist use of footnotes is the second best way to get someone to keep their pants on, right after…“Oh, by the way, I have STDs.”
This article was really helpful. I like the suggestions now that I am a graduated English major with no syllabi left to tell me what to read every week! Anyone have any other classics they always have meant to read but never had the time?
ps. I enthusiastically recommend Henry James' Portrait of a Lady. One of the most wonderful books I ever read.