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Thanksgiving for Slackers

By Christopher Schonberger

Here at Gradspot, we love Chowhound like a fat kid loves…Chowhound. Not only does it tell you where to find the best nachos and how to make delicious homemade candy bars, but it also has our back when the holiday season rolls around—the “Neoslacker Interactive Thanksgiving” is custom-made for newly christened grads spending their first Turkey Day away from home.

Peep the picture—the Ramones tee shirt, the Obey Giant poster, and the random, mischievous looking child all scream “recent grads who have taken in the local street urchin.” You too can achieve this sort of hipster-ish feast in a few simple steps. Chowhound’s got the whole menu sorted out, and all you have to do is click next to each item to pull up a pre-written email that you can send to different friends asking them to make the dish. Then you just chill—though you should probably handle the turkey, or at least pre-order it.

For those that have to schlep home and tell various people “what you’re up to these days” while suffering the effects of tryptophan, there are some tips for us as well: the proper technique for loosening your pants, small-talk tactics, and a guide to eating as much food as possible. Every year I disappoint myself in the latter category because by the time the meal rolls around (four hours late, inevitably), I’ve drunk so much on an empty stomach that I just feel horrible and want to end myself. Not this year! I vow that my behavior will be impeccable and I will eat more than anyone.

Even if you’re going home for the holiday, you might want to plan a pre-Thanksgiving feast with your friends and give this a try. That is, if your apartment can fit a turkey and humans at the same time. For my part, I shall be enjoying the Frankenstein’s monster of birds, the Turducken, as a preamble to Thursday’s main meal.

Bonus: Manly birds

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