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Party Tricks

By Christopher Schonberger

There is no better way to make up for being not that cool than knowing a few party tricks. Just ask David Blaine—rumor has it this guy was a complete DINGUS in college!

But while it’s easy to knock a bro with a few tricks up his sleeve, the fact is that detonating some well-planned sleights of hand, or even some nice “brain teasers,” can really lubricate various social and professional situations. I have never actually learned any because A) I’m too impatient, B) I rarely interact with other people, and C) I’m already pretty cool. But because I really like you doggers a lot, I’ve done all the dirty work and trolled le Web for the best tricks to help you impress co-workers, clients, love interests, and your family at Thanksgiving. Learn one this afternoon and maybe one day you can be as f—ed as Criss Angel.

Pen-Spinning: The ancient art of pen-spinning derives from the Japanese discipline known as “r?nin mawashi.” You can watch some tutorial videos here and here (requires Flash), or read up on the Wiki. I used to work with a dude named The Prince who did this a lot, and honestly it just made me very uncomfortable. Granted, he was one of my best friends and did a lot of things to make me uncomfortable (namely grinding on me at dance parties), but I think spinning your pen puts people on edge and gives you a psychological upper hand in the office.

Toothpick Trick: Next time you’re on one of those terrible first dates that involves “a bottle of wine” and the conversation does not floweth, hit ‘em with this phantom punch.

Bar Tricks: Needless to say, bar tricks have “chach” written all over them. But on the real, these ones are pretty cool—plus they are taught by British people, who are amazing at having fun in the pub.

Zippo Tricks: If you carry a lighter because you smoke, be warned that I am asthmatic and find it offensive. If you carry a lighter but don’t smoke, you are probably a bit odd. But if you can do this, by all means join the party, Japanese bloke!

Coin Puzzle: Does this make “cents”? You be the judge!

If you’re really bored… An archive of other tricks.

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