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Music in Prison

By Christopher Schonberger

For many recently employed grads, the politics of listening to music at work can present a difficult conundrum. In some offices, veterans have no qualms about blasting truly awful music out of their cubicles, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you can. It’s an earned right that you can’t just claim willy nilly.

On the flipside, rocking headphones all day can be a little bit “rude” or alienating if you work in a reasonably social environment. I once thought that an intern never said goodbye to me, but at the end of the summer another co-worker told me that she said, “Bye Gritz,” literally every day and I showed no response whatsoever because I was listening to Lil Wayne freestyles on YouTube.

Still, none of this is as bad as dealing with the politics of listening to music—and also staying alive—in prison. So stop whining and find out what it’s like to literally not hear any music ever, courtesy of Internet celebrity and all-around joker Rob Heppler. Reading this fascinating essay is as enjoyable as listening to one Lil Wayne song, or three DMX songs.

Thank you, Rob, for being this week’s Friday Procrastinator.

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