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First Date Etiquette: To Kiss or Not to Kiss

By Mr. and Mrs. Smith

First dates are like action movies: they all come down to the last five minutes, and then it’s do or die time. While I believe a first date kiss is never allowed, my female counterpart might think otherwise.


So you’ve paid for dinner, had a nice time, and that cab ride or romantic walk home is filled with comic banter bringing you and your newfound lady friend closer and closer. This leaves you at the critical juncture of the evening.

You arrive at her door for the final goodbye. You share a laugh over what has transpired that evening, how the waiter brought you the wrong dish, etc. Finally, you look directly into her eyes and create that fleeting moment of sexual tension. Then…

You brush past her lips, kiss her cheek, hug her, and walk away.

You planned ahead, you made good eye contact, you paid for dinner, you actually listened when she spoke about loving The Hills and the whole Lauren Conrad/Heidi Montague tiff – so why no reward for your effort? Because it gives you a sense of mystery and intrigue. She’ll go home thinking about what that kiss would have been like.

That, and it shows you’re a gentleman; you don’t rush into things. You wait and evaluate. You’re not easy, nor should she be.

That being said, first dates are a tricky thing. Remember, when the clock strikes midnight, the first date is done, the second is just beginning, and my no kissing rule just might not apply anymore. Madame?


A lot has to be going right for me to kiss a guy on a first date. There has to be initial chemistry and some sort of mutual attraction. There’s nothing worse than kissing someone who doesn’t want to kiss you back. If there isn’t that “spark,” do you really want a bad kiss? Dating is tough enough as it is, and nothing can be as telling (in a good or bad way) as a goodnight kiss.

If you’re into him, go for it. If you’re not, save your spit. And ladies, don’t fret if he doesn’t go in for the goods. You are in control and can make your own moves. If you want, lean in, and go get your man! Or save that first kiss for the second date.

And remember my general rule of thumb: never kiss anyone once who you don’t want to kiss again.

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