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Champions League Final = No Work

By Christopher Schonberger

Have you noticed that all the Europeans in the office are "sick" today or have scheduled abnormally long (also known as "European-style") lunch meetings? That's because the UEFA Champions League final kicks off at 2:45PM on ESPN2. This is not to be missed -- locate the closest pint of premium British ale and appreciate the game of football as it was meant to be played.

For those who haven't been paying attention over the past year, the Champions League is a bit too complicated to go through in what I intended to be an off-hand blog post encouraging people to skip off work. But suffice to say that it promises to be a match for the ages as Chelsea and Manchester United clash in the first all-England final in history -- keep your eye out for the return of Côte d'Ivoirean wunderstriker Didier Drogba and the infuriating cheekiness of Man U's golden boy Cristiano Ronaldo.

If you're more interested in what kicks off beyond the pitch, let's just that 40,000 British football fans (or, as authorities like to call them, "hooligans") in Moscow can't be safe for anyone. I'm guessing the scene will look something like this [slightly NSFW]:

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