Preparing Easy Meals that Impress

Few things are better at catalyzing sexy time than a home-cooked meal—drinks abound without having to wait for a waiter, lights can be dimmed in advance, and there aren’t any awkward discussions about coming over for a nightcap (though I still love to say nightcap). Perhaps best of all, it’s way cheaper than a restaurant (like often a hundred bucks cheaper). There’s only one problem: you don’t know how to cook. Well, you should never let ignorance stop you. Each of these cheap and easy recipes will make you look like a master chef without having to be all snobby and pretentious. They’ll each leave you plenty of time and money left over to hit up the sex shop for weirdly flavored condoms. And this time, you might even find occasion to use them.

Cooking Notes

All recipes serve two. For more people, merely multiply the ingredients by the number of guests. All processes have been simplified as much as possible to work in sparely equipped kitchens. However, there are always multiple ways to skin a cat and still get the same, well, skinless cat. Anyway, if the recipe calls for you to blanch and you want to steam, steam. If you want more of one ingredient, then use it. These recipes are all relatively foolproof and do not depend on specific measurements. All recipes take between 30 minutes to an hour from start to finish.

Baked Salmon Fillet with Tarragon Mayonnaise, Polenta, and Asparagus

This recipe couldn’t be easier, and it provides a delicious meal with vegetable, starch, and protein in no time. The sides are merely interesting and easy suggestions, but it could work just as well with mashed potatoes or any vegetable.

Salmon

• 2 6-8 ounce (wild or organic) salmon fillet. Can also substitute arctic char
• 16 sprigs tarragon
• 2 tablespoon mayonnaise

Polenta

• 1 chicken bouillon cube
• 1/2 cup polenta (coarse cornmeal)
• 2 pats of butter
• 1/4 cup milk or heavy cream

Asparagus

• One bunch thin asparagus

Steps

1. Preheat oven/toaster oven to 450 degrees.
2. Remove tarragon leaves from stalks by holding onto the top of each sprig with one hand and pinching two fingers down the stalk with the other, and place in a bowl.
3. Whisk the mayonnaise into the tarragon leaves with a fork.
4. Salt and pepper both sides of the salmon fillet and place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (the parchment paper isn’t a necessity but it prevents the salmon from sticking).
5. Spread tarragon mayonnaise on top of the salmon fillets, trying to cover the entire surface.
6. Place in the oven in the middle rack and bake for 12 minutes (or until opaque in center).
7. While the salmon is in the oven, boil 3 cups of water in a small pot with the bouillon cube.
8. Also bring 1 cup of water to a boil in a medium-sized frying pan.
9. When the salmon is almost done, turn down the heat under the pot of water to low and pour the polenta into the water slowly, whisking fast in order to avoid clumping. Keep whisking the polenta for three minutes or so until it reaches the desired consistency (somewhere between mashed potatoes and soup). Then whisk in the cream or milk and the butter and let sit.
10. Drop the asparagus in the frying pan and blanch (i.e. toss in boiling water) for 1 minute. Then remove and place on a paper towel or cloth napkin.
11. Take the baking sheet out of the oven and insert a spatula between the skin of the salmon and the meat without breaking the fillet.
12. Plate the salmon, the polenta, and the asparagus and season with salt and pepper.

Sublime Scrambled Eggs with White Truffle Salad

Scrambled eggs are not just for breakfast. They also make for a fast, flavorful, and insanely easy dinner. The white truffle oil and red wine vinaigrette provide an intense flavor and bite to the salad that goes well with the soothing flavor and texture of the scrambled eggs.

Salad

• 1 romaine heart
• 1 handful of mesclun salad mix or arugula
• 6 radishes
• 1 Kirby cucumber
• 1/2 avocado
• 1 tbl red wine vinegar
• 1 tbl Dijon mustard
• 1 tbl white truffle oil

Eggs

• 5 large eggs
• 2 tbl cave-aged Gruyere or Comte cheese
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 tbl butter

Steps

1. Cut stem off of romaine heart and chop widthwise into one inch leaves.
2. Combine with mesclun or arugula in a large bowl.
3. Slice radishes and cucumber into very thin slices.
4. Cut avocado in half and remove pit.
5. Whisk vinegar and mustard in a small bowl.
6. Pour oil onto the lettuce mixture, season with salt and pepper, and mix with hands so that all of the leaves are coated.
7. Add the radishes and the cucumber.
8. Whisk three eggs in a small bowl and add milk.
9. Cut gruyere into small thin slices (the smaller they are the better they’ll melt).
10. Melt the butter in a medium sized frying pan on medium to low heat.
11. When the butter starts to bubble, add eggs and cheese.
12. Stir slowly until the eggs are clumped but not dry.
13. Season eggs with salt and pepper and plate.
14. Pour vinaigrette over salad and plate.